Just Let Go..!!

My old friend called and complaining bout her love life. She has been together with her boyfriend for 7 mths now. Lately, he has been telling her to lose weight. The way he tells her though is very rude and so hurtful that she feel so bad and ugly. He says things like, "Yeah, you can wear one of those bikinis only after you lose pounds." Or, "I won't be with someone who doesn't even take care of herself." Or, "I want to be with _____. She's hot." And the worst was, "Have you ever had a child before?" She don't know what to do or think anymore about him and her relationship

I know what how she’s feeling, and let me tell you it doesn't feel good. Sometimes you don't get to see the true nature of people until you're in a certain situation. If someone is making you feel bad about yourself, whether they are a lover or just a friend, you do NOT need to be spending time with them. A true friend or love will not want to do anything to intentionally make you feel bad about yourself or your appearance. They may express concern about something, but there is an obvious difference in the way they would go about it. Her boyfriend obviously lacks tact and understanding in this area. If and when she want to lose weight she should do it for herself because she want to, not because someone is making her feel less about herself because of it. When it comes down to it, the purpose of romantic relationships before marriage is to determine whether or not you would want to make a lifetime commitment with the person. Do you honestly think this person will be the type you would want to spend a life, for better or worse with?

Is he insecure about himself and trying to undermine her as a way to keep you down on his level? Sometimes insecure people project the negative things they see in themselves on to other people. Is he over weight and secretly sensitive about it? Or is he simply immature and egotistical and putting you down to feed his ego with a distorted sense of control? Does he feel powerful when he sees you grovel for his approval and ignore your own feelings by putting his preferences up on a pedestal? To hell with his feelings if he doesn't care about yours. Does he feel insecure about his masculinity (a concept damaged in many men by our society's mass media illusions of status, women as trophy objects, and macho images) and compensating for it by degrading you? Either way, this is a shallow, callous way to behave, and it is certainly not loving

You've only invested 7 months in him. She should take off and let him learn humility the hard way. Soon he'll learn he's no great catch and he's alone because of his crummy attitude. If he wants to be with some super model, let him pine for her until he's blue in the face, because he's not getting her, because he's a low life jerk. You deserve better! It's only seven months and he's already emotionally abusive. In my experience, that's only the tip of the iceberg. It will continue to get worse unless you take a stand